Don't even know if the sun was shining today

Been all in my feelings today. Life is so funny sometimes. You think people care but truth is they only care when it can benefit them. Its a damn shame. Today is fathers day I have kept myself in my apartment all day have not even seen the daylight. Just don't feel like it just don't want to so sad I know but oh well we all have these days so this is my day. I truly really really miss my Dad. I cannot help but to imagine how it would have been if he had grown into a elderly old man. Shit truly hurts that his life was oh so short I know for a fact he would not have wanted me to be crying and sad all day but I can't help it. It also hurts that I don't have a aggressive friend to come by and drag me out the house because I am depressed .

Hurts like hell yeah it does but what I have to do is just pretend that everything is freaking peachy. Thank God I have my boy he knows that I am feeling some type away he actually came right in front of me and wipe the tear off of my face and it caused more tears to fall. My son is not verbal but he has the biggest heart and loves his mommie.  This is a dedication to my Father His favorite song

What Is Autism?

What is Autism?

Autism is a lifelong, neurological disorder that significantly affects how a person perceives the world, interacts with other people, and communicates. It is often referred to as a spectrum disorder, meaning the symptoms and characteristics of autism can present themselves in a wide variety of combinations, from mild to severe. Autism and its associated disabilities such as Asperger Syndrome and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) occur in approximately 1 out of every 88 individuals. Autism is four times more prevalent in boys than in girls and knows no racial, ethnic, or social boundaries. There is no single, specific cause of autism. In many families there appears to be a pattern of autism or related disabilities - which suggests there is a genetic basis to the disorder - although no single gene has been directly linked to autism.

Autism is treatable. Early diagnosis, intervention, and a system of support are vital to the future development of the child.

What Autism is NOT 
Several outdated theories about the cause of autism have been proven to be false.

Autism is not a mental illness

Autism is not the result of poor parenting

Children with autism are not unruly or spoiled kids who just have a behavior problem

The vast majority of persons with autism are not savants, like the character portrayed by Dustin Hoffman in the movie 

Children with autism are not without feelings and emotions Furthermore, no known psychological factors in the development of the child have been shown to cause autism.

I am Screaming with frustration

Well I felt the need to blog because I feel so angry today. I just wished I could give my son all the therapy that he needs, but I am begging to feel that hopelessness feeling that I must get out of my system. No one knows my struggle No one Each struggle is different and people must understand that I sent Holly Robinson and Toni Braxton a tweet. I stated that I had respect for them raising a child with autism but our struggles were way different. And that is Sooo true. I got a tweet back from Holly Pete she stated I should never compare struggles that I don't know how people struggle. Well I replied that our struggles are different which they are. I did not say she didn't struggle. There are true differences in the struggle. My son needs Aba therapy  I cannot afford to pay $260 for a consultation yet pay for every session. I am almost 100% sure that if she needed to get that therapy for her child she would be able to and hey it is what it is. My struggle is financial and apparently she would be able to provide those services for her son. I felt that but I didn't tweet that. I honestly do have a great deal of respect. So when it comes to celebrities there is truly a great diffence in struggles. I cannot say I know what goes on in there house because I don't I don't live with them. Well she didn't reply to my tweet back but any way I hope she realize what I was saying. Autism is difficult for any parent to deal with it is even more difficult when you cannot provide the services and treatments that your child needs 

My Beautiful Boy

Well This Is My Beautiful Son.......... I LOVE HIM........ Something is Special about him He has Special Powers. He has Autism. Devastating huh no not at all Challenging Yes Hell yeah very much so at time. Would I trade it. No not at all. He is absolutely Perfect.

Healthy is Hard!! HA!!

Maybe I need to hold myself accoubtable, Welll the other day I brought my juicer up from the dead... It was dusty but I was excited let me emphazize "Dusty" Ha Ha I juiced like 2pounds of greens and spinich only to get less than a cup of juice. I juiced like 10 carrots and got about a cup of juice. The taste was horrible maybe I needed a apple. I think I need to stick to my ninja prep and make vegetable and fruit smoothies. Oh wow I often laugh at myself cause when I pulled out the juicer and juiced I got the damn stick stuck on top of the thing and for the life of me I could not get it out <hilarious> Anywho Talk later

So this juicing thing,,,,,

Welp looks like I need to juice thats the only way my body is going to detox.

I am curled up Rocking in the corner!

Welll I just had to blog because yesterday Autism whooped my ass.My son had a horrible time yesterday. I just wanted to go climb under a rock and suck my thumb and rock back and fourth contnously. But I could not do that as baddd as I wanted to. My son turned into a monster he lashed at me and gave me two beautiful battle wounds on my face which now i have shiny spots on my face which are are covered with neosporin. Now I have some cocoa butter on my face so I wont have a scare on face. This morning when I got up I thought about the box of wine in my fridge then I thought Oh Lord.... thats alll I need is to become a alcoholic..... Something else to blog about. Hmmmmmm Here goese this would be a hot blog "Overweight , Alcoholic single mom of an Autistic Child" OOOHHHH that sounds like a Lifetime movie to me. But Naw I will not begin a bad habit I don;t even have time to be a alcoholic. Well I better pay attention to my boy I will update more frenquently.